Author: By Maureen Goggin

Date: SUNDAY, June 14, 1998

Page: C6

Section: Learning

I am an African-American woman who grew up in Washington, D.C., while it was still segregated. My father was president of Howard University, and I spent my formative years on that campus surrounded by marvelous role models.

My father said two things to me that made a deep impression on me when I was making my decisions about my education. The first thing he said was that I needed to prepare myself to be the best that I could be, because the doors of opportunity were going to be opening for blacks in America and that we needed to be ready to step through them.

The second thing my father said to me was that a woman really doesn't need to get married, and that I should prepare myself to live life on my own terms -- that I would actually be much more likely to find someone I wanted to marry if I pursued my own interests. When you think about it, these were amazing remarks for a man who was born in 1890.

I went away to Northfield Mount Hermon boarding school for a number of reasons, but primarily because my parents wanted me to have the best possible educational experience. While I was there, I was able to build on what I had learned at home. The Northfield-Mount Hermon schools are unique, in that they emphasize not only academic excellence, but also living as constructive member of the larger community. We all had to work as well as study, so it was wonderful preparation for the future.

When I was deciding which college to attend, I knew my mother would have liked me to return to Washington and attend Howard University, but I realized that I really couldn't live a normal student life there because of my father's position and prominence. I would always be known as his daughter, and it would be hard to be my own person.

I decided to reach for one of the very best schools, and, based on the advice my father had given me about pursuing my own interests, I didn't consider going to a co-educational school. I looked at the seven sisters and I chose Wellesley. Wellesley offered both access to a wonderful city -- it was easy to go to Boston by bus -- and a beautiful environment.

I valued the lovely natural setting of Wellesley, which afforded me the opportunity to get away by myself. Walking in nature allows you to let the kaleidoscope of your life -- the many parts of it -- settle and come into focus, so that you can figure out what is really important and what's not. It's too easy to lose your focus in the midst of college life. I often walked around the lake and on the Honeywell Estates which bordered the lake, all by myself.

Later, a friend remarked how amazing it was that my parents, who had very little experience in the white world, sent us out with the expectation that we would succeed -- and we did. I really enjoyed Wellesley. I found the classes very stimulating, especially because there were no "mating calls" to distract you from the process of learning.

I am now involved with a group of Wellesley alumnae called the Business Leadership Council, which is made up of women who are executives and leaders in the corporate and nonprofit sectors. One of the goals of the Council is to look at what it was and is about Wellesley that has enabled it to produce so many women who have achieved leadership positions in their chosen fields. It has helped us to evaluate our own experiences there.

At Wellesley, you were expected to excel -- to do the best that you possibly could do. The excellent professors conveyed those expectations and enabled us to fulfill them. I studied music, and often I found myself in small seminars that gave me a great deal of personal attention, and really stretched me intellectually.

I also found that the relationships among the women were very rich. There was a wide variety of people from many different places and all walks of life. And we lived in quite a close community, which helped to develop the values we would carry with us over the course of our entire lives. It was a very rich experience. I emerged from Wellesley with a very strong sense of self.

Eventually, I went to Columbia University for my master's degree in Musicology. I had intended to teach music at a historically black college in the South, but ended up getting married and taking a different path. Music, however, has continued to be an important source of spiritual light for me and always will be.

You want the truth?

I didn't know what was going on when I graduated high school. Not a clue. All my friends were going here and there and I was just . . . confused. I wanted to go to art school but was afraid I wouldn't make any money when I graduated, so at the last minute I went to a commuter college for a year and tried to figure things out. That spring I took a look at some other colleges, saw and liked Boston College, applied and got in. It felt like a real school to me, witha football team and everything. Once there, Itook a bunch of liberal arts courses. But, itbeing the Reagans '80s at the time, I was still afraid I'd never get a job. So I applied to the School of Management and got in. And got out the very next day. What was I thinking? One semester of accounting and finance would have been the end of me.

Finally, I decided to accept myself, and simply take courses that interested me, including art.

But really (and if only someone had clued me in about this), the courses were beside the point. It was the experience of going to a school where a world that I had never seen before, filled with friends I never would have met, was suddenly placed in front of me like a gift.

I'm glad I had the good sense to open it.

P.S. You want the truth? 10 years from now, no one will care what you majored in. Not even your parents.

It's been four years since I graduated from Bradford College, a small, liberal arts school in Bradford, Massachusetts. I have often sighed and said to myself, "I am so glad I went to a small school."

I was an average student in a large high school and felt invisible. It seemed to me that only the extremes were recognized. Everyone in between was just filling space. I knew that in a different environment I could really feel full and whole. Though some may thrive in larger schools, I knew it wouldn't work for me. I did not want to be in a large auditorium taking notes off an overhead projector. I did not want to have to make appointments weeks in advance to see an adviser who wouldn't be able to recognize me if I walked by him or her later, and I especially didn't want to feel like I was just being processed through a mill.

My professors at Bradford not only knew my name, they knew me. They knew my ability, recognized my potential, and made me work hard. They challenged me more when I was slacking and gave me a break when I was overloaded. This closeness enabled me to feel confident about making leaps. I tried harder. I valued my education more. I appreciated the freedom to grow and to be recognized as I wanted.

I was able to concentrate on personal growth and make incredible friendships that still remain strong. We shared the same space and fed off each other's energy. We were a constant support for each other. Many high school friends who chose large universities had voiced their envy for my close-knit relationships with students and professors. It was difficult for them to get to know anyone, let alone get a professor to work with them individually.

At a smaller school, there is simply more attention for you. I felt like an active member of the school. Usually there were no more than 15 students in a class. I once had a theater class with only five people. I loved it! We had great discussions, and I gained a new sense of responsibility. We controlled the direction of the lesson. The professor provided some structure, and we took over. Would it be the same in a class with 500 students? I don't think so.

The biggest drawback to a small school is that, overall, there is less variety. There are fewer classes to choose from and, at times, you wish you didn't know everyone. Sometimes, I felt that I was in a fishbowl. The people and the scenery never changed. Whereas in a larger school, you would have more people coming through. I worked around those issues by getting off campus more and investigated academic options; I created my own independent study one semester in papermaking, a course that wasn't regularly offered. And if I had the desire, I could have organized a group of students and created a course. We were encouraged to submit such requests. In the honors program, professors asked students to generate ideas for what courses should be taught the following year. What would you do with that kind of freedom?

Personally, I felt this atmosphere was a unique challenge. What I learned was that the greatest expectation did not lie within the institution. It was within me. I alone was accountable for how I chose to engage myself in school. I had to be willing to take risks. I had to face failure and success in a different light. I could not slip by. I gained a tremendous amount of confidence at Bradford. I was eager to explore. For example, I researched study-abroad programs freshman year and and spent my sophomore year in London. I did not have to go on a waiting list or compete with a pool of Bradford students. The opportunity was there and I grabbed it. This once average high school ghost graduated magna cum laude.

What is truly unique are the friendships that I continue to have with my professors and the college. Here it is four years after graduation, and there are a handful that actively keep in touch. When I spent the past two years in Eritrea, Africa, with the Peace Corps, I received care packages and many letters of encouragement. Fellow volunteers who coveted anyone's goodies from abroad looked astonished when I said, "Oh, this is from my really cool art professor and his wife." Enough said. This is where the sigh comes in and I say, "I'm so glad I went to a small school."

My plans for college started in one direction and I ended up in a very different place. I had plans to go to the Air Force Academy. My father was an Air Force officer, a Tuskegee Airman in fact, and he had helped to guide my career. This was in 1969 when the Vietnam War and protests were raging and the political climate was very different. At the last minute, I decided not to go to the academy. I was anti-military and did not want to contribute my flesh and bone to a cause I didn't believe in. I hadn't made any other plans and had absolutely no interest in law school at the time.

I wanted to be a cartoonist or a musician, so I set off on my own. I wanted to live off the fat of the land, play jazz clarinet, and become a syndicated cartoonist. This was a very aimless and unfocused time of my life. One of the reasons I changed my initial plans was defiance. I was raised in a military family and named after my overachieving father and had always been known as the colonel's son. Though proud of my dad and his accomplishments, that didn't sit very well with me. The pressure to achieve, particularly militarily, was too great.

I ended up going to Moorpark Junior College where I joined the debate team and won a debate award. That helped me to get a full scholarship from the Ford Foundation and attract the attention of many colleges. I chose the University of California, Santa Barbara. Why I chose Santa Barbara is a mystery to me even now. As defiant as I was, I didn't want to travel too far from home. I wanted all this independence but my zeal for autonomy was eclipsed by my desire for familiar surroundings, so I remained in California. Having a girlfriend in the area was also persuasive.

I remember agonizing over colleges in a way that my classmates didn't. I remember thinking that I might meet my future wife at college or a professor who would send me in the right direction or be influenced by people whom I hadn't met. I agonized. I was accepted into a number of schools, including the University of Michigan and Ohio State. I finally settled on Santa Barbara.

Once I was there, I fell into a group of people who cared about academics and enjoyed pondering the world, its events and our participation in it. The professors were intellectually stimulating and politically exhilarating.

In retrospect, it turned out to be one of the best decisions I could have made. The school wasn't extremely large but was very politically charged. I majored in political science but got to dabble in every interest I had. I drew cartoon strips for one local paper and two college papers, became an FM disc jockey, studied, partied, and even worked on Tom Bradley's campaign for mayor of Los Angeles and Shirley Chisholm's campaign for president. It was a fundamental and illuminating experience.

I wasn't the colonel's son anymore. I was "Chuckie" with the big Afro who drew cartoons and was on the radio. I got involved in campus activities and in the Black Student's Union, played intramural sports, basketball, softball, and sapped all the nectar that an education away from home could afford.

I once heard someone say that "education is what remains after you've forgotten what you learned." Therefore it is the experience of education and not the education itself that makes it a worthy pursuit.

It was in college that I met my first group of lawyers. I worked in a prison project as a liaison in a program between Lompoc Prison and UCSB, which enables inmates near pre-release eligibility to take college courses for credit. I assisted in screening inmates and dealt significantly with their families as well as their attorneys. I recall being struck by the level of dedication the prisoners' rights advocates had for the incarcerated. Their zealous advocacy was inspirational and indelibly impressed upon me the difference one could make as an empathetic attorney.

Through good mentoring and prayers, I was able to find myself and went on to pursue a career in law. Now I'm 47 years old and the chairman of a well-respected civil rights enforcement agency. I believe that I'm where I'm supposed to be. Were it not for those growing pains and experiences, I wouldn't be where I am today.

College was one of the most fulfilling life experiences I have ever had. I sympathize for people who decided to forgo college or didn't have an opportunity to attend. They really missed out on something special. It is a time for you to discover yourself. The great times really supersede any bad and the relationships forged will endure.

I was born and raised in Chapel Hill, N.C., and came out of a segregated school system. I decided I wanted to study engineering and wanted to stay in the state. There were two colleges in North Carolina public university system that offered engineering programs: North Carolina State and North Carolina Agricultural and Technical University. A & T was one of the historically black colleges and universities. Given that I didn't want to leave the state, my choices were pretty defined. I chose A & T and studied engineering. It was a relationship that has remained close. I have served on the school's board of trustees and continue to serve the school.

If I had to make the choice in today's environment where North Carolina State is more open, I would still make the same choice.

Many of the students coming to the school had backgrounds like mine. We were the first generation in our families to go to college and required a great deal of nurturing to complete a college education. I liked that environment very much.

The academic environment was also very positive and very challenging. I felt privileged to study electrical engineering and to be able to take those courses.

The social environment and growth are among the good things about a school like that. The social activities were close-knit, and there was an atmosphere of camaraderie and allegiance that I now know is very hard to find.

I was involved in intramural sports and different academic clubs. The school was very well rounded and had most everything you could have wanted. I had the opportunity to get involved in the Civil Rights Movement while I was at school and that was quite an experience.

I've never felt that I missed anything. I feel the foundation I got at A & T was very good. I'm involved with the school and have been since I left. I made lifelong friends at college. When we get together, it's always very fun. I don't regret anything about my choice.

Having attended junior high and high school in Miami Beach, Fla., I was anxious to attend a university in a "cosmopolitan" city. Clearly New York, Washington, D.C., and Boston were my choices. Our family business was based in Manhattan, so I decided I had time for New York after college. Washington just didn't seem as exciting nor had as much to offer as Boston. I wanted to attend a business school, and I wanted a school that was part of a city. Campus life and fraternity parties were of no interest to me. Boston University was the answer. Today, I am a proud alumnus of Boston University's School of Management.

Attending BU greatly influenced the next 20 years of my life. I now live in Boston. The main thing that I learned from concentrating in accounting was that I didn't want to be an accountant. My career began as a freshman at BU when I started promoting parties in ballrooms and function facilities. I later promoted parties in nightclubs in Boston, Miami, and New York and developed an organization and a following. At 22, one year after graduation, I bought my first nightclub. My education gave me the tools and skills I needed to start my business at a young age. It is the foundation that has supported all of my endeavors.

I went to a local community college after high school. I hd to pay my own way through college, and starting at a community college was the only way I could afford a degree. I received an associate of arts degree in Liberal Arts. I then transferred to Boston University when I could get a scholarship and financial aid to get a B.S.

Community college was like attending 13th grade. I didn't find it very challenging, but for students who might not feel fully prepared for college that might be the way to go. At some universities, kids fail because they're not ready for such a big cultural and academic change. I was prepared academically but some of my friends wouldn't have been able to cut it at a bigger college and the community college really helped them.

For kids who aren't as prepared for college as they might like, the remedial programs offered at community colleges can be a godsend. When considering where to go to college, these kids should ask themselves these questions: Can I fit in here? Can I cut the mustard? Who do I go to for help?

Larger universities often don't have these kinds of support systems readily available, and they may need to check out the services that are available in case they get into trouble academically.

When I transferred to BU, I was in culture shock. In classes, I found myself one in 500 rather than one in 30. There was no one to turn to if I didn't really understand something in any given class. Lab classes were facilitated by graduate students who were also unavailable for extra help if needed. I first lived in a dorm, and then moved into an apartment with five other people because it was cheaper than the dorms.

Living at home while I went to the community college was much cheaper than going away and helped me to afford those first two years. But on the other hand, when you go away and live at college, you are out on your own. You have to learn to make all kinds of decisions every day. Living away is extremely important but can also be difficult. I came to Boston from New York to attend BU. For the first time, I didn't have Mom and Dad fixing me dinner or asking me if I had homework. If I missed dinner at the cafeteria, I was out of luck. I had to pay to do my laundry and no one picked up after me.

If you go to a community college you won't get a campus atmosphere like you sometimes get at a big campus. I knew most of the people at my community college. There were lots of the same kids I knew from high school. When I went to BU, I was ready to handle being in a big school. It was exciting and I made all new friends. I felt as though I had changed when I went back home to North Tonawanda. I came back to Boston to teach, because of that change, for I could no longer stay there. I also could not get a job.

I worked a full-time job while I was at BU and went to school full time. I was on the crew team. We rowed each morning for practice and had races on Saturdays. At the community college, there were no extracurricular activities. They didn't have all these athletic programs and scholarships that big colleges do, although some now do have a few programs. A school like BU had so many athletic activities to choose from, it was overwhelming. The smaller colleges and universities may have more opportunities for athletic scholarships as opposed to the big name schools, so you might want to make that criteria for going to a certain school.

I picked up crew at BU. I was very small, and someone said that I should come out for crew. I went to the boathouse and got hooked. I was a part of it every day. There were disappointing days, but there was a great work ethic. You are an individual and a part of the team. It demanded a lot from you, like life, and made you a stronger person.

I probably wouldn't have enjoyed BU as much without crew. Participating in the sport introduced me to another life. I had done swimming but I had grown tired of it. Rowing tied me right in and prevented me from feeling quite so lost in the large university. I made lifelong friendships.

There are down sides to transferring schools. For example, the college might not accept all of the credits for the work you did in the community college. And it was hard socially. When I went to BU, I didn't know anyone. The friendships and cliques are already set by the junior year when you transfer in. If you are going to transfer, you have to be strong enough to jump in at the new school or you'll get lost in the shuffle. I was very outgoing and made friends easily, and the crew team helped me out, too. If you have an outgoing personality, you should be fine.

Another thing to think about is your financial status. I came from a lower-income family and didn't have a lot of money. I worked and had to save my money. But a lot of my BU friends were very well off. I didn't have the money to do the things they did. They would ask me to go to concerts and out to dinner and I couldn't go. For me, that money was for books and expenses. I felt embarrassed visiting them at their houses. It was difficult for me sometimes because my Sunday best looked like rags to them and I ended up either wearing their clothes or staying home. I didn't realize the whole class thing until I experienced it firsthand. It was very hard. I was just as good as them in class and on the river, just not in public. It helps to fit in financially is all I'm trying to say.

The most important thing is to go for your dream. It may take a while, but make sure you do what's right for you and not anyone else. Take everything you can think of into consideration before you pick the school you will attend. Only you can make the dream happen. Make very sure it is right for you.

NEWSOM;06/09 NKELLY;06/16,12:14 INTRO14