''You got trouble right here in River City, with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for pool,'' sang the late actor Robert Preston, playing the classic role of all-American con-man Harold Hill in ''The Music Man.'' For some reason, the tune cranks up in the brain whenever George W. Bush starts one of his campaign riffs about what is wrong with America today:
You got trouble in Washington, with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for ... what?
Partisanship? Promises broken? Progress undermined?
Bush is right about this much, you know. We do have trouble in Washington.
So now, with some of the rakish allure of the fictitious Harold Hill, the Republican presidential candidate says that he is the one who can set things right. And with some of the innocence of the residents of River City, Iowa, voters are getting closer to giving him a shot. Here's why:
This country still loves a sappy story line, and Bush offers two - a personal one and a political one.
Like professor Hill of ''The Music Man,'' Bush is the naughty boy who won the heart of a librarian and, through her, earned a new lease on life. Now he has religion and only wishes he knew how to legislate love. (As he said the other night during the third and final presidential debate, ''Well, you know, it's hard to make people love one another. I wish I knew the law, because I'd darn sure sign it.'')
The made-for-Hollywood Bush biography has not been put to any real test. Throughout this presidential campaign, media scrutiny focused mainly on whether the Texas governor is smart enough to lead the country. Bush ducked early inquiries about alleged drug use during his younger years, and the candidate's nonanswers remain unchallenged.
With only two weeks or so until election day, so be it. If the American public is sick of seeing its political candidates pummeled by the press regarding their personal foibles, that is understandable. Watching Bill Clinton undergo it for eight years should be more than enough for almost anyone.
But there is still time and reason to challenge Bush's second sappy story line - the one about trusting him to do the right thing in Washington and being able to convince Congress to go along. After all, he offers few details about how this miracle will be accomplished.
But then, details aren't the point. Bush is selling promise. As he said at Tuesday night's debate, ''a promise made will be a promise kept should I be fortunate enough to become your president.''
So, he promises to give back $1.3 trillion in tax money. He promises to find $1 trillion to supplement what he is draining away from Social Security for investment options. He promises to find another $2.3 trillion to protect Social Security and Medicare. And on top of all that, he promises to find more money to pay for education, health insurance, and prescription drugs.
Basic accounting tells us that is not all possible, but basic accounting will not derail the Bush campaign. That's because the candidate is tapping into a wellspring of emotion that has little to do with rational thoughts about issues or numbers. As he accurately notes, ''A lot of people are sick and tired of the bitterness in Washington, D.C. ... They look at Washington and see people pointing fingers and casting blame and saying one thing and doing another.''
His solution? ''What I think needs to happen ... is to shoot straight, is to set aside the partisan differences and set an agenda that will make sense.''
How incredibly simplistic. And how remarkably in tune with what the child in all of us wants to believe - that wishing can make good things happen.
Remember, ''The Music Man'' was all about the power of the human spirit to will things to be true. In 1957, it beat out the much grittier ''West Side Story'' to win a prestigious Tony Award. The idyllic portrait of Main Street, USA won out over the pathos of a city's mean streets - pathos that, by the way, amounts to sugar-coated fantasy when put up against real headlines out of urban America today.
I believe in miracles in musicals, not in Washington.
How about you?
Joan Vennochi's e-mail address is vennochi@globe.com.
