HEN THE REPUBLICANS tried to oust President Clinton two years ago, I borrowed heavily from Dr. Seuss to give you ''How the Ging-grinch Stole Democracy.'' Recent events demand a sequel:
Every voter in Voter-ville liked democracy a lot,B ut the Republicans in Florida assuredly did NOT!
The Republicans hated democracy! Especially this season!
N ow, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be their heads weren't screwed on just right.
I t could be, perhaps, that their shoes were too tight.
But I think that the likeliest reason of all,
M ight be that their votes were three counties too small.
Whatever the reason, their hearts or their shoes,
T hey stood there in Tallahassee, singing the boos.
For they knew that most voters in Palm Beach beneath,
W ould not double-punch Al and Pat with straight teeth.
No more recounts! Katherine the Great said with a sneer.
W ith numbers that made everything perfectly clear.
Bush is the winner of all the votes she chose to see,
L eaving thousands of butterflies hanging high on the tree.
So high that Bush thinks Gore's chances are about to die.
Bush, Baker, and Katherine roared and growled to the sky,
W e HAVE finally found a way to stop democracy from coming!
They stayed on their mission to put Gore out of commission,
T hinking certification was quite enough edification.
But Gore kept doing what Republicans liked least,
T rying to count where counting had ceased.
African-Americans said they were disenfranchised.
J ews said their ballots were highly compromised.
Unionists smelled smoke from Florida machinery.
K atherine the Great denies Election Day thievery.
T he more the Republicans thought of this democracy thing,
The more they thought, we must stop this whole thing!
W hy, for three weeks, we've avoided complete recounts,
We MUST stop Democracy from coming! But HOW?
The Republicans thought they had a wonderful scheme.
Who more could Bush want on the scene?
B rother is governor, operative is secretary of state.
Cousin helps call Florida for Fox - an accident of fate?
If this were Central America or Africa, the public would howl,
A bout banana republic kings with bones in their jowl.
In the Orange Republic, coup leaders wear suits,
B linding us on CNN with spiffy, shiny boots.
Pointing at Katherine's clock that always seems to run out,
B efore the dimples and butterflies can create any doubt.
African-Americans said they were disenfranchised.
J ews said their ballots were highly compromised.
Unionists smelled smoke from Florida machinery.
K atherine the Great denies Election Day thievery.
We know what to do! Bush laughed in his throat,
B aring his teeth at democracy like a gator from a moat.
We swamp the Democrats with declarations that we won.
W e name transition teams until the public is numb.
We keep saying, We are preparing to govern.
S oon the public will see us as sovereign.
We just keep saying how Gore changes the rules.
S oon everyone will forget how we oiled all the tools.
We already know the victory was won,
W hen the media let stories of disenfranchisement dry in the sun.
There was no uproar when our protestors helped Miami-Dade quit.
O r when Katherine rejected Palm Beach, no matter how long they wanted to sit.
When the voters wake up, we know just what they'll do!
T heir mouths will hang open a minute or two.
Then the voters in Voter-ville will all cry Boo-hoo!
B ush said, That's a noise that we simply MUST hear!
They paused. Bush, Baker, and Katherine put hands to their ears.
B ut the story ends here, for we know not what they are about to hear.
Will the sound be happy, from Americans resigned?
O r be angry, from thousands of voters maligned?
The Republicans are preparing to govern. What will greet their eyes?
W ill they dance? Are they in for a shocking surprise?
Will red, white, and blue balloons rise to the skies?
O r will they see the crimson eyes of the newly disenfranchised?
Will they rule over Voter-ville, the tall and the small,
O r be run over by the voters who were not allowed to vote at all?
Will the Republicans bury the butterflies and dump the dimples,
O r be forced to live up to all of democracy's great principles?
Is it not amazing how the party that claims the highest morality
W ishes to deny an election in its totality?
Afraid to seek the truth from the plains to the knolls.
W hether Bush lost in the Electoral College and the popular polls?
In the Orange Republic the question may never be asked.
D elivering an election that may always be masked.
Maybe democracy can indeed be stolen from a store.
M aybe democracy ... perhaps ... means no more.
Derrick Z. Jackson's e-mail address is jackson@globe.com.
