But three weeks before Election Day, Mancino, Jaffe and many other women say the first lady has won them over.

"She earned my respect. She's earned my vote," said Jaffe, a mother of two from Scarsdale, not far from Clinton's adopted hometown of Chappaqua in suburban Westchester County. "It's her understanding of the issues, her passion for the issues, her ability to listen."

"She really has proven herself," agreed Mancino, a Westchester County Republican who works in a family clothing business. "I've changed my mind about her. I like a lot of her stands on issues. I know she's an advocate for children, even if she doesn't have children in the local schools. She's really good on education. And I think she's been a good health-care critic."

In fact, after months of running behind or even in the polls among white women, some recent surveys show Clinton with a slight lead over Republican Rick Lazio among white women -- as well as among voters overall.

"Hillary's always had overwhelming support among black women, but starting around Labor Day, she has moved to the positive side among white women, too," said Maurice Carroll, spokesman for the Quinnipiac University Public Opinion Poll.

Last spring, both Mancino and Jaffe were contemplating voting for Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, who was Clinton's Republican opponent at the time.

But Giuliani dropped out after being diagnosed with prostate cancer. He was replaced by a less liberal Republican, Lazio, a little-known congressman from Long Island who has had problems defining himself as more than the "anti-Hillary."

Lazio is not as strong a proponent of abortion rights as either Clinton or Giuliani. Polls show some voters also thought he was too aggressive when he strode over to Clinton's podium during a debate and waved a pledge banning soft money in her face.

Clinton, meanwhile, scored points in the debate when she described the pain that the Monica Lewinsky scandal created in her marriage.

"A year ago, I would say, `I don't know why she stayed with him,"' said Rita Schwartz, a teacher from New York City. "But I'm not even thinking in that area anymore. It's her life, it shouldn't be an issue."

Clinton has also spent the past 20 months blitzing the state with appearances at schools, day care centers, nursing homes and luncheons for causes such as fighting domestic violence and cancer.

Unlike Lazio, Clinton has never appeared on Sunday TV talk shows like "Meet the Press." But she has shown up in female-oriented outlets like Rosie O'Donnell's show, the Lifetime cable channel and Oprah magazine.

Not a day goes by when she doesn't use the phrase "for 30 years, I've been working ..." to prove that her advocacy began in law school, when she worked for the Yale Child Study Center and the Children's Defense Fund. And she often tells stories that bring smiles of recognition from working-mother audiences -- the afternoon she was stuck in a meeting when she wanted to get to a school play, the morning she had to be in court and the baby sitter called in sick.

Winning over women was so important that her campaign even set up secret meetings for women who didn't like her. The media was not allowed to observe, and participants were sometimes cautioned against speaking to reporters.

Most of the meetings were led by "women who personally knew her, who could say, `I've known her, I work with her, she's somebody who rolls up her sleeves and works hard,"' said Ann Lewis, one of Clinton's top advisers. A few sessions featured Clinton herself.

Sheila Gordon was host of one of the meetings in her New York City apartment.

"We haven't learned yet how to evaluate a woman in politics who is so accomplished," she observed. "Hillary has had a fabulous career as a lawyer, a fabulous career as a volunteer. Some people expect her to be all warm and cuddly. Some want her to show all her emotions and start crying every time someone brings up Monica."

The campaign's outreach to women appears to be paying off in the polls.

"I'm feeling a lot of support around the state from all kinds of people," Clinton said. "They feel the differences between me and my opponent. They are understanding what I've done for 30 years, the causes I've worked for, the experiences I've had."

Of course, some women still dislike her. "I'm voting for Lazio," said Maguy Naparstek, a New York City nurse. "He's honest and thoughtful."

Naparstek also holds a cynical view of why Clinton stayed married: "She knew she had just to wait for her time to come. If she gets this Senate seat, she'll be back to run for president."