OS ANGELES - He has been making the briefest of public appearances at the Democratic National Convention, even sleeping far away from the fray, in a friend's house in Santa Monica.
And when this convention is over, he has been invited to fly to a ranch owned by Senator John McCain of Arizona, to commiserate with another ambitious politician over what it might have been like to have one's name stamped on a presidential ticket.
For Senator John F. Kerry, this week is a painful one. Still grieving over the death of his father and processing the letdown of not being selected as Al Gore's running mate, he is trying to keep up appearances.
Kerry's smiles are strained. And his voice is increasingly hoarse.
But he is, perhaps, using his time valuably here, having spent mornings addressing two or three delegations a day, including New Hampshire, Iowa and Florida, states listed in that order by the senator's spokesman, David Wade. The order may be no coincidence, given that the road to the White House begins in earnest in New Hampshire, is influenced by Iowa, and can be won or lost with Florida's population.
''You should not read anything into that,'' Kerry said yesterday. ''Those are active states where you have particularly grass-roots Democrats involved in the process ... and I got to know those places when I campaigned for Al Gore during the year.''
Kerry also tried to address delegates from New York, but traffic in this sprawling city thwarted the meeting. He did, however, speak before delegations from states with less impact, including Oregon and Washington. And of course, Massachusetts.
The hometown contingent has gone out of its way to embrace Kerry, the focal point of the official welcoming party for the Massachusetts delegation this week at the Los Angeles Museum of Contemporary Art, with friends and Democratic activists.
''I really feel incredibly grateful for the remarkable outpouring of support by the number of people who have said, `You were my candidate, not this time, but next time.''' Kerry said. ''The folks from Massachusetts could not have been more generous in their good feelings and wishes about it. A lot of people invested in it with me in the last days.''
But unlike his Bay State congressional colleagues, Kerry has spent almost no spare time mingling on the convention floor. So Tuesday night, when he entered the Staples Center just as Caroline Kennedy had started speaking, he sent a ripple of excitement through the Massachusetts delegation.
After getting a call from the Gore campaign late at night on Aug. 6, saying no decision had been made about a running mate, Kerry woke to the news that Connecticut Senator Joseph I. Lieberman was the choice, one apparently influenced by Tipper Gore.
One delegate privately said there was a feeling among the group that Kerry had been used by the Gore campaign. The senator dismissed the idea.
''I don't feel that way,'' Kerry said. ''I'm a grownup and I knew what I was getting into.''
In addition to his professional letdown, Kerry is still healing from the death of his father, Richard, who died of prostate cancer last month at age 85.
After the convention ends today, Kerry has to decide whether to visit McCain, a trip that may be canceled after yesterday's announcement that the Arizona senator has skin cancer, or fly to Prague for a conference or return home to Beacon Hill.
''I'm feeling like I'd love to be back in Massachusetts. Spend a few quiet days,'' he said. ''I want to visit my mother'' in Manchester-by-the-Sea.
And later, he would like to get together with Senators Evan Bayh of Indiana and John Edwards of North Carolina, both of whom were also on Gore's short list for running mate. Kerry already extended the invitation to the would-be running mates over the phone.
''We shared some off-record comments about it all,'' Kerry said. ''And some laughs.''
