AN YOU NAME one branch of government or officeholder or aspirant not tarnished by this smudgy, greasy, indigestible election?
Only one. The US Supreme Court. It is the last player standing with any standing. So on Friday they'll be sitting. In final judgment, one suspects, on the election that will not die. ''Oral arguments'' is what they call them. ''Visual arguments'' they are not. No TV. Which to me is a blessing.
Because the pictures are what have misled us most. I do not blame my electronic brethren. Or sisteren. But we've become so inured to flicking the remote to see what passeth for reality that we've become weather vanes, blown this way and that by spin artists and talking heads who played us false. The biggest gaffe was the election night award of Florida first to Al Gore and then to George Bush, and with that latter falsehood, the award of the election. As of Monday's most up-to-date count nationally, Gore had 337,183 more votes nationally than the other guy.
But the early-morning call on Nov. 8 triggered by the Fox network and the Bush cousin it employed in a crucial position made W. the presumptive winner, a position he has clung to despite its shakiness. When the Florida Supreme Court issued a unanimous ruling that recounting continue in disputed counties, the Bush camp reacted savagely, attacking the court with bitter threats.
Now the US Supreme Court is in the cross hairs. And instead of the seven Democratic-appointed judges in Florida, it's seven US justices appointed by GOP presidents, including some by Bush's pater. Al Gore got more votes than Bush Jr., and maybe even in Florida, but the cards are stacked against him now.
The public support for Gore's count-all-the-votes-fairly ploy is bleeding away, the biggest wound being the suspect certification of Bush as victor by Florida's secretary of state, a Bush partisan who would not be miscast in as the heavy in ''101 Dalmations.''
The Supreme Court is Gore's last slender hope. And I heard a former clerk to one of the justices say this week that they will most likely rule unanimously, so as to protect the court from the type of carpet-bombing we got from Bush, Cheney, & Baker Unlimited, who traduced the Florida bench so venally.
Now, how they will rule is another matter. I remember when the chief justice was appointed, he was grilled in US Senate confirmation hearings over his role as a GOP lawyer leading an Election Day flying squad around Arizona, challenging minority voters and, in the view of Democrats, intimidating them with legal mumbo-jumbo. And, if the heat is on to make whatever they do unanimous, I have little doubt that Justices Scalia and Thomas will do whatever they can to stick a shovel-handle in the rear wheel of Gore's bicycle. Do you get the impression I think Prince Albert is going to be stopped short of the throne? That is the impression I mean to convey.
Do I think more Floridians awoke Nov. 7 intending to vote for Gore than for Bush? Absolutely. The proof is indisputable. Take away the absentee ballots, Gore wins. Count the spoiled ballots? Gore wins. Divine voter intent in chad-challenged machine ballots? Gore wins.
But the state political machinery in Florida bagged it for Bush Jr. The Bush camp orchestrated the alteration of the absentee ballots in Seminole County, affixing voter ID numbers on otherwise rejectable ballots after the fact. The Republican goon squad, a couple of hundred Washington-based GOP congressional aides flown to Florida on orders of House majority leader Dick Armey of Texas, intimidated the Miami-Dade canvassing board into reversing itself and denying Gore the recount ordered by the Florida Supreme Court.
Gore got shafted in Florida, so Bush gets Daddy's old job. No, Mr. Deer-in-the-Headlights was not the choice of the women of America (by a margin of 9 percent they voted for Gore), nor of blacks (by an incredible 82 percent), nor of Hispanic Americans (by 2-1), nor of Asians (13 percent).
Bush is not the president of voters 29 and under (by 2 percent), nor of those 60 and older (by 4 percent), nor of Easterners (by 17 percent), nor Westerners (by 2 percent), nor of those who didn't finish high school (20 percent), nor of those with post-college education (8 percent), nor of Roman Catholics (2), nor Jews (by 4-1), nor of voters of families earning under $50,000, nor of those from big cities (by 71 to 26), nor small cities (17 percent), nor of first-time voters (by 9 percent), nor the unmarried (19), nor suburban women (7).
But if the high court says Bush won, then Gore has to wish the other guy well and stand down. And then Bush becomes president of all of us, even those in Massachusetts, who went 60 to 32 against him.
(All percentages are from Voters News Service Election Day exit poll of 13,279 voters nationwide as tabulated in The New York Times on Nov. 12.)
David Nyhan's e-mail address is nyhan@globe.com.
