OS ANGELES - Philadelphia greeted the Republicans two weeks ago with the Liberty Bell and cheese steak. LA welcomes the Democrats with a lot of cleavage.
It has been said that LA has no soul. Of course it has a soul - a wondrous thing defined by the lethal smile, the cell phone, and unisex breast reduction. The city traffics in tenderloin and spreads like an oil slick east from the Pacific, daring you at every block to cap your teeth, to walk on the wild side, and to use the almond mousse. It is a beacon of shamelessness and that's why we like it.
LA muscles its way into the Democratic convention story as Philadelphia never did, never could, with the Republicans. Let's face it, the GOP could have met in Schenectady and no one would have known the difference. Not so out here. This gamy place demands attention and invites trouble. It sits like a pro at the bar as the amateurs with the Gore pins pour in like locusts from Elsewhere.
The libidinous LA ethos clashed last week with the New Moralism of the Democratic ticket to create l'affaire Sanchez. Until then, Representative Loretta Sanchez of nearby Orange County had been a Democratic poster child, a popular Hispanic who was awarded precious podium time during the convention this week by the Gore campaign.
That all ended when she chose to hold a fund-raiser for her political action committee at the Playboy mansion - you know, the one with the guy in pajamas and the bunnies. (The bunny suits went out with the Playboy clubs in 1986 but are making a comeback by popular demand.)
The entire Democratic establishment, including Rhode Island's very own Representative Patrick Kennedy, promptly had a psychotic episode over her use of the mansion. They were shocked, shocked, that anyone would hold an event in such a notorious meat market that denigrates women as sex objects. Democratic National Committee chairman Joe Andrew actually pulled the plug on the Sanchez podium appearance.
Way off message, Loretta.
Entranced by the concept of a political future, Sanchez finally canned the Playboy mansion and all that good clean fun for another location and presumably her podium spot. But in a bizarre twist, she bowed out of that at the last minute yesterday to blunt the perception that she had caved only for a turn in the limelight.
Such hysteria might have been expected in Salem during the witch trials or maybe in Philadelphia, which wallowed in GOP platitudes. But not here, not in the city where Pia Zadora broke into show biz. The locals were stunned. The Playboy mansion, after all, has been used for years to host charity events, and Democrats like former LA mayor Tom Bradley and the extraterrestrial former California governor Jerry Brown have raised money there without a hiccup. So what gives?
''The Democrats are devouring their young while the Republicans sit off in the weeds and let them go at it,'' says Bill Farley, a Playboy spokesman. ''In the 15 years I've been here, I've never seen an event at the mansion that has created as much controversy as this.''
All is not lost. There is still a nifty protest planned by prostitutes outside of the Staples Center for the decriminalization of commercial sex. The issue may not be up there with campaign-finance reform but, honestly, wouldn't most folks rather listen to prostitutes make their pitch than Arianna Huffington motor on about the evils of the two-party system?
And then there is Susan Block, a sex therapist and talk show host who espouses something called ''ethical hedonism'' and runs the eponymous Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences. Block, who promises five-minute foot massages for all delegates and members of the press, is running an exhibit called ''Democratic Sex'' in her gallery a few blocks from the Staples Center in honor of this shindig. The show, which celebrates what Block calls ''the inherent democracy of sex,'' follows earlier exhibits on ''Erotic Art of the Apocalypse'' and on the foot fetish. Block doubts that the parliament of prostitutes descending on LA will fare well here. ''The Democrats are too cheap. They go for the interns,'' she says. ''Republicans are better customers because they spend money.''
And, she adds, forget all the talk back east of earth tones and alpha male behavior to transform Al Gore into a marketable item. What the man needs, she maintains, is some mojo. ''He's not a bad-looking guy, but he is sorely in need of some sexual excitement,'' says Block. ''Look at Clinton: He may have pulled his pants down, but the polls didn't come down with them.''
That said, most folks rather like a president who wears his pants on the job.
