POLITICAL CIRCUIT / BRIAN C. MOONEY

New England GOP set to whoop it up during Bush visit

By Brian C. Mooney, Globe Staff, June 9, 1999

Yeee-haaa. Break out the Tex-Mex cookbook, cinch up the string tie, and throw Waylon, Willie, and Doug Sahm on the jukebox. George Dubyah Bush is coming to town. Yeee-haaa.

This is big. Heck, everything in Texas is big. Especially Governor George Dubyah, who's inspiring weird mass hysteria among Republicans desperate to elect a president in 2000.

They haven't checked under the hood or even kicked the tires, but they're ready to drive off the lot with this sleek Lone Star model with the big fins and chrome skirts. No one seems to know what he'd do as president, but, dadgummit, they're all with him.

Ten other Republicans are running for president. They're lucky to attract a couple of local scribes and a few inches of ink when they drop by. But George Dubyah will be in New England, starting this weekend, and reporters from all over the country will swarm over him. His "exploratory committee" has chartered three 47-seat buses, and that doesn't count the TV news trucks.

Yeee-haaa.

Here are some friendly suggestions, George, on your first campaign foray out of Texas since causing this stir in March.

After a few stops Saturday in Iowa, site of the first caucuses, you'll land in New Hampshire -- around 1 a.m. Sunday, then head to Kennebunkport, Maine, for a relaxing day at Walker's Point, your family's idyllic peninsula retreat.

Here's an idea for good video: Have your dad do his next sky dive there, splash down in the ocean, and be scooped up by you in his old cigarette boat. It'll lead the news at 6. Yeee-haaa.

Very important event Sunday night -- "a lobster bake for traveling media at the Shawmut" Inn, just up the coast. Good move. About 100 to 150 reporters will be covering this trek. A well-fed press corps is a happy press corps. They prefer being fed real news, but absent that, lobster is a welcome substitute.

Don't skimp on the brewskis, either.

Nice touch, the Shawmut. That was the seaside bunkhouse for reporters covering your dad when Walker's Point was the summer White House. The veterans will be nostalgic. The kids will be impressed, imagining how pleasant it will be to stay there on long holiday weekends and a couple of weeks in August.

Big day on Monday, George. New Hampshire. Numero uno on your primary dance card. You'll be joined during the day by Senator Judd Gregg, former governor Steve Merrill, and Charlie Bass, the congressman. You are assured big, friendly crowds at every stop. In case nobody told you, the current governor, Jeanne Shaheen, is a Democrat. New Hampshire's changed some since your daddy stubbed his toe in the '92 primary there.

Your caravan will start with a "community breakfast" in New Castle, followed by a "news conference." The only real news here is your presence, so keep it vague. Duck the questions about Kosovo and China. Stick to the fluffy "compassionate conservatism" stuff. No one knows what that means, including you, so keep 'em guessing as long as possible.

Under no circumstances discuss rumors about your yeee-haaa days when, as you say, you were "young and irresponsible." The National Enquirer will print them eventually.

Then it's off to Manchester for a noon live shot (lots of those on this trip) and an event with a group of Republican women, followed by a "chat" at the Bow fire station. (Again, keep it light and airy here. Substance will only step on your real message, which is: HOORAY, GEORGE DUBYAH IS HERE.)

At 6 o'clock you'll be back in Manchester for another live shot. Traveling media must watch on TV from a remote location. Excellent planning. Keep the scorpions in the bottle. They'll only try to take you down a peg if you let them.

Your Monday barnstorming wraps up at a big event at Saint Anselm College in Manchester. Tuesday morning, there are two stops in Derry. From there, Boston awaits you.

You'll love Boston, George Dubyah. Governor Paul Cellucci is so hot for you to become president, they'll need a fire extinguisher to cool him off when you arrive. (You know, they're saying you could be his ticket to Washington.)

Cellucci's people will be falling all over you at that big fund-raiser in the Boston Park Plaza's Imperial Ballroom. Sadly, you may not see Sandy Tennant. He's scheduled for arraignment on drunken-driving charges that day.

We hope you like the New England buffet. Sorry, not much Tex-Mex in buttoned-down Boston. And leave the Stetson in the car.

Otherwise, feel right at home. Lots of folks can't wait.

After all, George Dubyah's coming to town.

Yeee-haaa.