arren Beatty.
Gotcha.
Would you have tarried over the name if I'd written Bob Smith, or Ross Perot, or Lowell Weicker, or even Pat Buchanan? At the end of August? Gimme a break.
Jesse Ventura.
Gotcha again.
One of the problems facing people who are fed up with politics as usual is that they have begun to ape the worst elements of politics as usual. That includes the manipulation of celebrity, the resort to gimmicks as strategy, and even the pursuit of money.
It works in the short term, but among the more disgusting attributes of celebrity politics - and celebrity media - is the tendency to obscure serious reform efforts based on deep thinking and hard political work.
I limped into town last week intent on watching Senator John McCain's game attempt to advance his presidential candidacy, in part by challenging large chunks of his party's conventional wisdom, especially its addiction to moneyed interests. I also wanted to see if a somewhat similar attempt among Democrats by former Senator Bill Bradley was beginning to sink roots in a state that will be ground zero for the megaprimary next March 7.
On balance, I found McCain making steady progress and Bradley making none, but what surprised me was the extent of the distraction coming from the Fed-up Movement. Down the road, the danger is that the glitz and gimmicks may obscure the cause of serious reform.
Take Warren Beatty - please.
For those of us who dare to be boring, September is the month when Bradley officially declares his candidacy and begins spelling out the details of his thinking, above all on health insurance and poverty, which will make or break his campaign. But in big-time media politics, September is the month for the Beatty rollout. Network producers here are grateful that the actor confined his August activity to the big tease. They want him in September, when the ratings stakes are higher. So the big question here is whether ''Warren'' can land a big kahuna like ''60 Minutes'' or Diane Sawyer and to what extent he can sell in the early morning with Katie and Matt, or perhaps as part of the latest reincarnation of Bryant Gumbel. The pitches are being made as I write.
Remember, this is a ''thing'' that exists as a result of a midsummer night's dream of a dinner party at the home of a columnist (Arianna Huffington) who in five years has gone from the spouse of a money-created, almost winning Senate candidate (Michael Huffington), to leading acolyte of Speaker Newt Gingrich, to estranged spouse and estranged acolyte, to whatever. But the trial balloon remains aloft. Officially, Beatty is ''thinking'' about it and has a speech date here in a few weeks at which he might say more.
Unofficially, there's more. The fringe around him includes Pat Caddell, the Democrats' apostle of alienation and disciple of doom (a friend from George McGovern days). It also in recent days has included Bill Hillsman, a pro who has handled two quite distinct breeds of outsider winners in Minnesota - Senator Paul Wellstone and Governor Jesse Ventura.
For conspiracy freaks, the ''thing'' has also attracted neutral to friendly comments from none other than the former Gary Hart, another pal dating to the 1972 crusade.
And that is part of what bothers the Bradley people. Earlier this year, Hart contributed a serious memo to them about the process of mounting an insurgency campaign in the primaries (Hart wrote the original book and his own 1984 sequel), and he has been supportive toward Bradley since - until now.
The other part of what bothers the Bradley people is the journalism business, which can be counted on to inflate Beatty beyond his worth for the entertainment value. Bradley faces a tough enough challenge as it is. Al Gore's people think all this is funny-pathetic, but Bradley's are right to worry.
The presence of Hillsman for now in the Beatty entourage has led some to wonder if a Reform Party crusade might be a possibility. But all the signs for the moment point to the Democratic race. In part, that reflects recent life in Ross Perot's baby.
Take Jesse Ventura - please.
Fresh from his World Wrestling Federation refereeing gig, the guy sure soaks up national ink a lot for someone who isn't running. The fact is that he still might, if the alternative is losing his hold on the reformers he just won from the Perot remnants. A Beatty bid would be one challenge to Ventura's hegemony, but a more credible threat could come if Pat Buchanan returns from vacation bent on leading his pitchfork brigades onto Jesse's turf.
The irony is that Beatty appears to be more attractive as a third party figure than as a Democrat. Last week's Field Poll gave him 1 percent in next March's primary but nearly 10 percent in general as a reformer. Go figure. This is all nuts. But watch my business, especially the TV end. Beatty and Ventura sell, and reality has nothing to do with it. Call it ''Wag the Dog'' meets ''Bullworth.''
Thomas Oliphant is a Globe columnist.
