Surviving the greens

I'm no golf widow and pray never to be, but if that sorry fate befalls me, recent travels have taught me how to survive a vacation with a significant golfing other. Whether the appeal of chasing a little white ball over hill and a gazillion dales eludes you, as it does me, or you actually like the game, just not as much as You Know Who, you've got lots of miserable company.

As estimated 25 million Americans, one-fifth of whom are women, play the sport, according to the National Golf Foundation. Participation is down 2.8 million since the sport peaked in 1990; baby boomers can't seem to spare the four to five hours that 18 holes require. Clearly, some couples holiday happily in golf cleats, but you can be sure millions of golf widows and widowers are still sacrificing vacations for their relationship.

Divorce and couples counseling are always options, but there's a less expensive, more enjoyable one: resort golf/spa packages. One self-confessed gold widow at Florida's PGA Resort summed up the advantages of the combination holiday. ``I play a little golf, I play a little tennis, and when all else fails, I go shopping.''

As a spa veteran and fitness writer, I recently visited four such resorts, two in sunny Florida, that offer great golf, plenty of pampering and spa cuisine. The 650-acre Doral Golf Resort and Spa (4400 N.W. 87th Ave., Miami, Florida 33178-2401) has won a cartful of spa and golf awards and been rated one of the top 100 ``Women Friendly'' courses by Golf for Women magazine. Golfers can choose from four courses, including the Blue Monster, home of the Doral Ryder Open, or improve their game at the driving range or a golf clinic.

The spa setting is to die for with its Italian Renaissance formal gardens and marble-paved luxury suites, as are the health and beauty services. In addition to every imaginable treatment, from Swedish massage to European facial, you'll find the unimaginable and unpronounceable, including algae body contouring mask and herbal hair and scalp treatment. Pack light: Robes and workout wear are provided, as are beauty care products. The fitness equipment (cardiovascular and weight training) and classes (yoga and boxercise, to name two) reflect the trends. Hard and clay tennis courts, lit for night play, are available; private and group tennis lessons, too.

The week I visited, the chef had ``defected'' to Canyon Ranch, so the spa cuisine, while artistically presented and varied, lacked flavor. Insiders say the low-calorie menu usually wows diners whether they're watching their waistlines or not. With unlimited nonfat sorbet and Pelligrino bottled water, I couldn't complain, but the resort's noise level got me grumbling. The property abuts a major highway and falls smack dab under a major flight pattern.

With the Ultimate Resort Package, one guest can play 18 holes, while the other does step and aqua aerobics, then both can meet afterward for a well-deserved massage. The daily package features garden room accommodations, a full American breakfast, 18 holes, a golf clinic, unlimited tennis, spa activities, and select services. Rooms (per person, double occupancy) in season cost $315; off-season, $159. Two nights' minimum are required.

The PGA National Resort and Spa (400 Avenue of the Champions, Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 33418-3698. Tel. 800-633-9150 or 561-627-2000) considers itself America's best sports and resort experience. Personally, I prefer the Doral's luxurious accommodations and meticulous service, but when it comes to sports and fitness activities, the PGA offers the widest variety that I've encountered. Your relationship is in big trouble if you can't find at least one thing to enjoy together. Not only does this 2,340-acre property boast five 18-hole tournament golf courses, but 19 tennis courts, a complete spa, a health and racquet club, three outdoor swimming pools, a lake and the largest croquet complex in the Western Hemisphere.

Single women may be interested to know that the PGA resort, headquarters of the Professional Golfers' Association of America and home of numerous international golf tournaments, is where a good many single men are. After the conventions let out for the day, you'll find armies of lonely businessmen lounging around the pool or dining in one of the six restaurants. Keep in mind that real women do play golf (25 percent of PGA golfers are women), and real men don't necessarily. Says a Tennessee businessman who won a PGA stay as a business incentive: ``I don't know for the life of me why people like golf.''

Tennis attracts a more coed crowd, and the instruction is top-notch. A pro taught me in one hour what I'd failed to master in four decades -- to serve as though I meant it, with a mean spin.

Water therapies, in the tradition of the original European spas, distinguish the PGA from the rest, most notably its Waters of the World, outdoor mineral pools treated with imported salts. In a garden setting, I floated in a half-dozen pools, including one reconstituted with Dead Sea salts. Also in the offing: a variety of other hydrotherapies and more standard health and beauty services.

Two lines of spa cuisine are served in all the restaurants, a sports diet, high in complex carbohydrates, and a more standard low-fat plan. I intended to be virtuous, I really did, until I laid eyes on the dessert tray holding my vote for the world's best tiramisu. The low-calorie entrees I did sample were unmemorable, though tasty enough, except for the vegetarian pizza, perhaps the saddest, driest imitation in dieting history.

The golf/spa package offers two options: unlimited use of the five courses, the driving range, and a daily golf clinic, or a customized spa plan. Golfers are welcome at the spa and vice versa. Two-to-four-night packages respectively cost $678 and $1,356 in season; $465 and $929 off-season (June 1-Sept. 1).

Cambridge Beaches (King Point, Somerset, Bermuda; tel. 800-468-7300 or 441-234-0331) caters to golfers and spa-goers in such a gorgeous, private setting that it's not uncommon for clients to return 10, 20 times or more. One couple from Boston has made it their annual retreat 65 years running. On the west end of this pink-beached island, this luxury cottage colony elicits wows for, among other things, the stunning ocean and bayside vistas, five private beaches, and numerous coves for snorkeling and swimming. Year-round golfers can arrange to play any of the island's courses, including Robert Trent Jones' Port Royal Course, visit the Bermuda Golf Academy for instruction and driving practice, or use the putting green on the property.

A $2 million spa/fitness facility complete with indoor pool and ocean view opened this summer. Standing out from the more than 100 health and beauty treatments is the Cathiodermie Facial. Standard facials pale compared with this procedure, combining a plant-extract mask and an ultrasound treatment. It's strange having an aesthetician roll an ultrasound wand over your gooey face, but the Cathiodermie is by far the best facial I've gotten. In-season, a room plus meal plan costs between $117.50-$192.50 off-season (Nov. 16-April 15), $175-$285. Most services are a la carte; some packages are available at the Sonesta Beach Resort, Southampton, Bermuda; phone (441) 238-8122.

The Berkshires' Canyon Ranch (165 Kemble St. Lenox, Massachusetts 01240. Tel. 800-726-9900 or 413-637-4100) may be known as Northeast America's best self-improvement and pampering retreat, but it also deserves recognition as a top-notch adult sports camp. The sports offering, golf included, change with New England's seasons, from canoeing and bicycling to cross-country and downhill skiing. A personal activity planner is essential in helping guests choose from a head-spinning selection of indoor and outdoor sports, health and fitness classes, preventive health care consultations, spa and beauty services, stress reduction therapies, and much more.

Golf widow(er)s need only tell their significant other about one offering: free golf April through November at the nearby Cranwell Golf Club (with a three-night minimum or longer stay). It probably won't hurt to mention the setting (a historic mansion overlooking rolling lawns and surrounding woods), the spa cuisine (gourmet-quality food, all you can eat) and nearby cultural excursions to the music centers (Tanglewood, Jacob's Pillow). For the all-inclusive price ($1,200-$1,660 for four nights June 15-Sept. 23; $1,510-2,600, Sept. 24-Dec. 22), you get simple accommodations, three square meals a day plus ``mocktails'' (virgin Bloody Marys), selected spa services, fitness classes, sports activities, and many other things.

To keep your Canyon Ranch experience from feeling like a concentration camp with good food, make sure to schedule lots of down time.

(Jean Fain is a free-lance writer in Boston, Massachusetts.) (c) 1998, Jean Fain. Distributed by Los Angeles Times Syndicate