|
When friends become source of
e-mail clutter
By Patti Hartigan, Globe Staff, 01/22/99
Do you have e-mail overload? Is your mailbox overflowing with joke files,
chain letters, random musings, political treatises, or knee-jerk petitions? Do
you get lost in your ''in'' box, searching desperately for that urgent memo
from your boss and finding only a Dr. Seuss-style poem about Zippergate or a
recycled rumor, long since proven false, about designer Tommy Hilfiger?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you're not alone. You're
receiving what I call spam from friends, or fram, for short. Technically, the
notion of spam from friends is an oxymoron: Spam is netspeak for odious,
unsolicited mail hawking get-rich-quick schemes or adult entertainment. Spam
is a legal issue; fram is not. But it can become cumbersome or downright
annoying if you're bombarded with too many promises of good humor or good
karma when you're busy researching a serious topic (like Internet jokes). It's
a problem, and it's getting worse.
A study released last week revealed that 41 percent of Americans use the
Internet, up from 14 percent in 1995. Some 35 percent of the population uses
e-mail, up from 10 percent three years ago, according to the survey conducted
by the Pew Research Center for the People and the Press. Those numbers
indicate that roughly a quarter of the population began using e-mail in the
past three years, which means many of them are still in the early romance
stage when they create group lists to communicate with a few hundred of their
closest confidants.
That means more jokes. More chain letters. More petitions.
So what to do? The on-line netiquette guides don't offer a standard way to
just say no. It's awkward; these are your friends, after all. We turned to the
experts for some practical advice. Mark Leavitt, research director at
International Data Corp. in Framingham, says, ''Just can it, delete it''
without reading it. But what about the one time a friend sends news of a death
in the family or a windfall in the lottery?
Leavitt points out that one way to manage fram is to sign up for one of the
free e-mail services offered on Internet portals like Hotbot and Yahoo and
request that friends direct mail to that address. And some e-mail packages,
like Eudora, have built-in filters, so you can automatically instruct the
software to direct mail from certain people to separate folders and look at it
when you have a free week or two. (I use Lotus Notes, and Leavitt confirmed
what I discovered while searching for a filter. ''Don't even try it; it's not
easy to use,'' he said.)
Fram, of course, is usually well intentioned, but some of it, particularly
the chain letters, can have serious repercussions. Computer consultant Steve
Baldwin remembers what he calls the Great Chain Letter Incident of 1993 or
'94. He was working at the publishing firm Ziff-Davis, and one of those
reach-out-and-mail-someone letters circulated around the office. It took up so
much bandwidth that it threatened to paralyze the system, and the company
issued a stiff warning to stop the insanity. ''Chain letters, however well
intentioned, are a major violation of netiquette,'' Baldwin wrote in a recent
(solicited) e-mail. (For a history of electronic chain letters, see
http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Gal lery/7333/. The site, run by a University of
Kentucky student named Jennette Fulda, documents 393 missives and asks, ''Want
to lose friends fast?'')
But there is an element of superstition to those letters; you have to
cross your fingers and knock wood while deleting them. Sherry Turkle, the MIT
professor and clinical psychologist who specializes in the social impact of
technology, admits that she, too, is susceptible to their lure. ''When I
received those things as a kid, I remember being thrilled and excited,'' she
says. ''You had to retype it five times, put the stamp on, go to the post
office. Now as an adult, they push that vulnerable little button from my
childhood, that little superstitious twinge. But at a certain point, you have
to delete it and prepare for a little bad karma.''
Some folks like Leavitt contend that chronic e-mailers are addicts, a
concept Turkle rejects outright. People go through phases with e-mail, she
says, and often, they use it as a coping tool. ''It gives people a constant
sense of social action,'' she contends. ''They're stirring the pot. They're
part of the party.'' Some of these folks send epistles to long group lists,
confirming that they are part of large social circle.
But that can tap into the insecurities of the recipient. ''What about me?''
you find yourself asking. ''Where are my 40 friends? Where are my funny
stories?''
It's a vicious circle, this e-mail mania. Turkle predicts there's going to
be a shakedown in the urge for constant communication. ''There is a sense that
there is a new hot culture, and there is a social anxiety about not being part
of the scene,'' she says. ''But people are going to start being selective
about technology. When they experience a net decline in quality of life,
that's when they stop.''
Let's not forget: Some folks like receiving fram. It keeps them connected,
it's easy, it's intimate, it's free. But for those who are bombarded, the
simplest solution has nothing to do with technology. It has to do with tact,
with having the guts to tell your friends you simply don't have the time to
read salty jokes or cultivate your karma at work. Let your friends know this,
but by all means, don't send the message via e-mail.
|
